The ‘Yeah, but…’ Objection Section
I know, you have reasons
A sweet and funny friend suggested this section while we were strolling at the farmer’s market.
It’s easy to let pessimism win the day, especially if keeping your healthy weight has been difficult (or impossible). You’ve probably been sold a whole variety of ineffective solutions and those failures now inform your thinking and self-concept.
Here’s the thing: those diets that were supposed to be the ‘answer’ have actually trapped you in a cycle of weight gain.
It’s a bit horrifying, but it’s true.
Yeah, but I've tried to lose weight so many times.
I get it. I did too. The fact that a bunch of non-solutions (that’s what I call diets) didn’t work for you does NOT mean you can’t lose weight. It means what you’ve done didn’t work.
Now that I’m a decade past losing 50 pounds, I can see so clearly why these things were never going to work and I built my course to empower you to create what will.
You don’t need another diet, you need to build a life and understanding that supports a healthy weight. I teach that in all its complexities.
Yeah, but what if I fail at this?
In allowing your weight issues (anxiety, disordered eating, excess weight, shame) to go unaddressed you are already experiencing failure. At the very least a failure to thrive.
Unlike a diet, which peddles on the fallacy of certainty, this program is a process. It teaches skills, changes your thinking, makes actionable suggestions, helps you build a real movement practice, and makes each step achievable and buildable.
That is a recipe for success. A process is just that, not a moment in time that determines success or failure. As long as you moving forward, learning, being honest, and practicing self-compassion, there is no failure.
If certainty is what you’re after it’s worth remembering that’s what diets pretend to have to sell you a product with a 90% failure rate.
“Part of the attraction to diets is that we think we need a ‘solution’ as extreme as our problem. We’ve done it all wrong and now it’s time to hand over control to plans that seem so sure of themselves.”
My answer is that if you do what I ask of you, read what I offer, go through the course with your full attention, I’m certain you will have a good outcome now, and over a lifetime.
Yeah, but I just need to...
I’ll let you fill that one in (go to the gym/eat more salads/quit takeout).
It’s so tempting to simplify the barriers to a healthy weight by telling ourselves stories about how one day we will have the motivation to do ‘what’s right.’
That kind of reductive thinking is what keeps people trapped in bodies that don’t feel good. I know from experience lasting weight loss isn’t about leaving the whole of your life intact and narrowly addressing willpower.
I’d like to teach you what will work. That requires your time, your openness, and your payment (but, you knew that).
Yeah, but I'm never going to be thin.
Cool, me neither. I don’t value or advocate for thinness.
That’s a body type, not an aspiration.
Yeah, but temptations are everywhere.
Step one is acknowledging that fact deeply and fully. We live in a world that can’t wait to feed us, overfeed us, suggest we eat, and then offer us more food.
Add to that you as a human being are built to WANT THE DONUT. That’s a normal response and not something to pathologize in yourself. You don’t need counseling because you feel tempted (and give in) to obesogenic foods.
What you need are smart strategies you can employ for life about how to automatically make the choices that lead to a healthy weight. That could be setting better boundaries, changing your route to work, having better options on-hand, skipping the coffee shop with the yummy goodies, and much more.
The power comes from acknowledging what we are powerless against and making those things really hard to get. I teach that.
Yeah, but I hate working out.
Confession, I find the gym really boring. If what I had to do to keep the weight off was get on an elliptical every day, it wouldn’t have worked. No, thanks. You can add to that list 90% of the workouts I see advertised.
Speaking of which we are so heavily marketed to we can’t even entertain the idea that organic, joyful movement that results in a healthy weight exists outside of pre-conceived workouts. I would tell you they do and that sane approach is part of what I teach.
I’ll leave you with this: fitness isn’t a thing you buy, it’s something you cultivate.
Yeah but, I'd don't know enough about your approach.
I’ve been writing about humane, sustained weight loss for years. You can find the bulk of my work here.
To be clear, I don’t think you can permanently lose weight by reading a few articles, but it’s a great primer on how I think and execute ideas.
You’re also welcome to schedule a 20-minute Zoom should you like to meet me and ask questions that pertain to you directly.
Yeah, but dieting is the worst.
Isn’t it, though? Thank goodness I’m not going to ask you to do that.
I can promise you this: I never go hungry and I won’t ask you to either. It’s short-term thinking and frankly, just awful.
I’m also not going to lie to you and say this is some miracle solution that will allow you to drink wine every night and still lose weight. There are choices to be made.
It’s true you need to eat less and move more but there is a way to do that honors your health and happiness without deprivation.
I teach that. Bonus: it works for a lifetime.
Yeah, but there's a pandemic.
There is. It’s an important issue and I take it quite seriously.
It’s also an excellent opportunity to reset your life for weight loss.
Most of us work from home now, socialize much less at restaurants, and spend more time outside walking and biking. That’s an excellent place to start the not another diet program. You are already focused on the areas I need you to be.
Yeah, but I've heard fasting is the best thing I can do.
Fasting is simply another way to create a caloric deficit. Any other miraculous claims are unsubstantiated by science. It has some appeal because of its simplicity, but like diets, most people find it difficult to stick with.
I tried it and found myself hungry and resentful. My system is built on never feeling deprived and paying attention to the natural signals your body gives. Fasting felt like the opposite.
You’ll hear this from me repeatedly: anything you can’t do for life isn’t worth considering.
Yeah, but I have some health problems.
I’m not qualified to speak to your individual health issues, those are conversations reserved for your doctor.
However, I certainly understand what it is to have to figure out weight loss with some health challenges. I’m hypothyroid, have been in treatment for breast cancer twice, have bone spurs in my right hip, and am perimenopausal. TMI? My point in sharing these things is that while health challenges and aging are real issues, they can and should be worked around. If your doctor has cleared you for moderate activity and eating whole foods, you can tackle the not another die program.
Yeah, but I don't love cooking
You don’t need to spend hours meal-prepping or cook complicated dishes from scratch to make this work.
But (you knew there was a but), you will have to do some cooking and shopping. Your kitchen is a powerful weight control tool, and I would do you a disservice to skip over that fact simply because you aren’t thrilled to cook.
The bigger point I’d like to make is quit pre-deciding who you will be in the future. Maybe a year from now you’ll have figured out a ‘just enough’ system to make sure the whole foods you want to eat are at your disposal. Or maybe, you’ll start to really love the process of nourishing yourself.
Let yourself grow as a person. I’ll show you a path forward.
Yeah, but I love to eat out.
I love it too, and I still eat out regularly. I just am more selective about where I go and frequency (restaurant strategy is covered in the program).
Ask yourself if you love eating out more than being able to look at yourself without cringing? Or, getting rid of aches and pains? Or, being able to join friends and family on excursions? Or, being free of the health worries obesity brings?
Me neither. Here’s a real truth: I love my life way more now than when I indulged with regularity. A decade later being more selective about when and where to eat out is a small price to pay for all that I have gained.
I want that for you as well.